Crazed about Spice
Monday, June 20th, 2011
About a week or two ago, against our better judgment, we decided to head over to a new much talked about joint in Melbourne CBD for a catch-up lunch. Despite sharing the same name, this restaurant is not part of the same Crazy Wings franchise over in Sydney. As far as I know, it is pretty much same same but different to the one in Sydney.
What is so great about this Crazy Wings you ask? In my humblest of opinions, Crazy Wings’ sole purpose for existence is to incinerate and subject your mouth to excruciating torture (or so I thought at that time, until I discovered something else worst. More on that further below…). Each skewers hold 2 tiny wings, ranging from $1.50 per skewer to $2.50 Crazy Wings skewer. There are other things to order too but the main draw are the cheap skewers and the Crazy Wings itself. I’ve been to the place about five times now. The first four times was hot as hell (literally), but the third? It feels toned down. My tongue did not burned off and it was just a tad bit spicier than Extra Hot Nandos Peri Peri, but just barely. Extremely disappointing.
In the midst of our crazed for all things spicy, my Sri Lankan friend introduced to me something called Mad Dog. It brought back from the US by his brother in law and given to him as a gift. He brought some in to the office to spread the love.
This baby is NOT for the FAINT HEARTED. The Mad Dog 357 Hot Sauce with its blend of 160,000 Scoville super hot cayenne peppers, fiery hot red habanero peppers and finally a whopping 3,000,000 (yes… THREE MILLION) Scoville pepper extract that will provide a tingle (…tingle… ha!) from your tongue to your toes. This killer sauce is packing 357,000 Scoville units of heat. One hit will blow you away!
The Scoville scale is a measurement of the spicy heat (or piquance) of a chili pepper. The number of Scoville heat units (SHU) indicates the amount of capsaicin present. Capsaicin is a chemical compound that stimulates chemoreceptor nerve endings in the skin, especially the mucous membranes. The scale is named after its creator, American pharmacist Wilbur Scoville. His method, devised in 1912, is known as the Scoville Organoleptic Test. The modern commonplace method for quantitative analysis uses high-performance liquid chromatography, making it possible to directly measure capsaicinoid content.
See below table from wikipedia to see where the Mad Dog sits on the scale:
And being a responsible company, the following disclaimer is written on the bottle itself:
Hot Sauce-Extract Disclaimer.
Due to The Extreme Nature of These Products, Please read the following disclaimer.
I agree, as indicated by my opening this bottle, as follows in connection with my purchase of this product:
1. Due to the extreme hot nature of this product, this product shall be used as a food additive. This product can cause serious injury if directly consumed, ingested or applied to the body.
2. Due to the extreme hot nature of this product, this product shall be used with extreme care in very small amounts only.
3. This product is to be used at my own risk, and I am fully understand the potential danger if use or handled improperly.
4. If I give this product as a gift, I will make the recipient fully aware of the potential danger if used or handled improperly.
5. I hereby disclaim, release and relinquish any and all claims, actions and lawsuits that I, or any of my dependents, heirs, family members or legal representatives, may have against any party relating to any damage or injury that may Result, or is alleged to have resulted, from the use, consumption, ingestion, contact or other use of or from the product.
6. I am not inebriated or otherwise not of a sound mind, and I fully able to make a sound decision about the purchase of this product.
Imagine this. A bunch of guys in suits, standing around a container holding red liquid death in the middle and each one holding a plain biscuit to dip in. On the count to three, and due to peer pressure, everyone dipped in the sauce (by dip I mean everyone just touched the sauce just a little bit) and put the poison into their mouths. The first five seconds or so, everyone goes “that’s not so bad… I wonder what the fuss is about…”. After five seconds or so, everyone goes “hang on… I think I feel it coming… oh yeah its coming alright… shit… that is hot…. ok…. thats FUCKING hot… stop… stop… STOOOPPP!!” and everyone dashes to the sink beating and shoving each other away just that douse the hellish flames raging in our mouths.
Same thing happened when I took some sauce over to my friend’s place. Two blokes were game enough to try, the rest scurried away in abject horror upon smelling the ghastly waft of chili death. RC, the big guy took a dip and was furiously sweating, mucus flowing and eye tearing, rapidly removed his thick jacket and guzzled down jugs of water. The feeling was like a fire building up into a bonfire, and then rapidly feel like a flamethrower just went off in your mouth and finally nuclear explosion killing your senses. Your brain shuts down and all you can think about is killing the pain.
This sauce is clearly not for the average person who loves to add some spice to their cooking. However, if you would like to turn your cooking into nuclear fare, I would advise using no more than a few drops at the time. Please heed the words of wisdom on the bottle and proceed with caution — and enjoy!
Category : Journal Entries
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